Should Christians talk more openly about sex?

	Penn92 2/20/00 2:33:18 PM Truth be told, I expected something much more challenging and controversial when I logged on to read this piece. However, Ms. Winner really hasn't said much here. She didn't say outright that she wants the church to condone premarital sex, but, rather, to acknowledge that it is going on and address it. I would be interested to have Ms. Winner expound further on this subject and tell us what she thinks the church should do to acknowlegde and address it in concrete terms. As it is she has stirred everything up and given no direction to head in. Does she want the church to condone premarital sex the way homosexuals want the church to condone their lifestyle choice? It isn't really clear from this article. So, Ms. Winner, how about it? What shall the church do to be "open" about premarital sex among singles? It is easy to criticize, but much harder to come up with a solution.
	Fern 2/18/00 1:42:30 AM Not only are evangelicals looking the other way from the whoring of their single church members, they are failing to mention the primary benefit of God's command to abstain. The Apostle Paul told us clearly what the purpose of being unmarried and celibate is (whether it is a temporary or permanent state): to "attend upon the Lord without distraction" (I Cor. 7:35). It is truly a rebellion against our Lord and Master that has created such an increased idolatry of sex within the evangelical church. Do we not know where this will take us? Surely we have been warned... "Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers...shall inherit the kingdom of God." (I Cor. 6:8-9)
	Mary234324 2/17/00 8:10:42 PM Thank you for your all too kind words about my college. Wheaton College has high expectations of its students, and this is a good thing. We are called as Christians, to be pure, and part of that is abstaining from sex until marriage. Contrary to what you have writte, Lauren, we do not have a problem with living on single-sex floors (not in single-sex dorms as you wrote). The anecdote about "Jill" is sad--she apparently missed out on part of what being in community here is all about.
	FriarTed 2/16/00 10:49:23 AM Btw, Lauren, I see you made WORLD magazine this week (and not in a good way)- keep strong in your trust in Christ & take care to live for Him & as we all have to do, doublecheck your choices in life *s*
	Tollelege 2/16/00 2:47:34 AM I've read a number of Lauren Winner's articles in other publications, and generally thought highly of them, but I found this one disappointing. Should Christians talk more openly about sex? Well, of course - this is hardly the first plea I’ve seen calling on evangelicals to address sexuality honestly. Forty years ago, perhaps this could be controversial, but how many "no" answers will a question like this get today? A quick search of christianbook.com turned up 85 titles which include the word "sex" (the first being "52 Ways to Have Fun Fantastic Sex"… what is with these repressed, body-denying evangelicals?). But when placed in the context of an article which begins with an admission to, or really a defense of, premarital sex (it is "No big deal," after all, unless of course some Christian tries interrogating you about it) - I have to wonder if its openness or approval that the author is looking for. (Continued…)
	Tollelege 2/16/00 2:45:21 AM Part 2: Sure, a phrase like "evangelical whore" is neither kind nor appropriate. But is the author writing as a sinner who needs to be "restored gently," as Paul wrote, or is she justifying sin on the grounds that "everyone does it"? I hate to break the news to Ms. Winner, but sinful sexual desires don’t disappear after saying "I do." Single Christians struggle with chastity (well, at least some of us did), but married Christians struggle with fidelity. For many, adultery can be as much a temptation, or more, than premarital sex, and if someone can’t resist the one, the other may be a threat as well. Then again, maybe for her that will fall in the same category as premarital sex - the kind of thing "men and women go out of town and get a hotel room" to do "in this day and age… No big deal." If this is the case, I would still not call Ms. Winner a "whore," but neither would I call her an evangelical.
	oz 2/3/00 12:51:33 PM What I have always believed/ heard is that why we are to save sex until after marriage is because that is where it is (hopefully) full and complete. The focus becomes one of union and intimacy and love rather than simply hormones. Marriage is the binding of two people together and sex is one of the expressions of that. When one has sex before that commitment is made, it is turned into something destructive at worst and not all that great pleasure wise at best. It's like the difference between soy-sugar-free ice cream and Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Junk. One settles for less than the best and that can slowly eat away at what was intended to be such an amazing and blessed intimacy.
	Tisdale 1/29/00 4:22:34 PM Yes. The lack of honest and open communication within the constituency of Christianity has corroded its roots. For example, Christianity's ideals regarding sexuality.
	FriarTed 1/28/00 12:40:36 PM Answer to Q: of course Response to Lauren: I disagree w/your approval of some pre-marital sex but I can relate to your feelings & greatly Amen the last paragraph. I really wonder if the NT condemnation of 'porneia' really covers all pre-marital sex, but I am not ready to deny it.
	jjfoley 1/27/00 9:49:35 PM I have to say that one contributing reason to why I've abandoned Catholicism as a belief structure was its inability to deal with the natural sexual impulses which surface during one's teenage years. The topic of sex is such a "dirty, hush-hush" subject. Teens get confused, get conflicting messages, fall to a natural impulse to experiment... and the unbending absolutes and stony silence of the Church in reply does nothing to reclaim them. It is this lack of discussion which forces one to begin questioning one's beliefs and one's religious community. For me and others like me, this contributed to my questioning of the whole faith and an inexorable breakdown of spirituality that I have only recently begun to repair. It's easy to sermonize about being nice to your neighbor, or being an active volunteer, or other Mom-and-apple-pie topics that make everyone nod their heads. But people are curious, and people question, and very few want to shine a light in the dark corners.
	BruceR 1/24/00 7:38:14 AM Change in Christianity has largely come about through a shift in thinking. Passages once interpreted as absolutes became meaningful only for a particular culture or a particular past era. Changes in attitudes towards everything from slavery to women wearing hats in church followed this path. Sexual abstinence until marriage made a lot of sense in Biblical days because there were only a few years between puberty and marriage (vs. 18 years today). There was no effective birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancies. There were no effective safe sex techniques to prevent STD. Perhaps we should reconsider Biblical norms about pre-marital sex.
	mik20 1/23/00 5:00:25 PM Good job Lauren. Pastors should talk openly from the pulpit about sexuality on a regular basis. All members of the body of Christ struggle with these problems, both single and married. Adultery is prevelantly marketed in our society.
	thinker 1/23/00 12:03:30 PM Bravo to Lauren. We need to take the subject of sex out of the closet and discuss it as a community of believers trying to be faithful to the Gospel message.I applaud her efforts.
	kinnereth 1/22/00 10:55:24 PM No matter how you parse it, sex outside of marriage, even for someone as hip as Miss Winner, is still wrong. However, she is quite right about the refusal of evangelical churches to have *any* meaningful conversation, much less sermons on the topic. I'm the author of 2 books, put out by evangelical publishers, on single Christians and sexuality and the scene in most churches is just as bad as it was when those books were published in 1988 and 1991. Why? Because the Christian world out there wants to assume that everyone is married with children. Sigh. Surveys taken by Southern Baptists and Presbyterians on sexual activity among their singles show that 2 out of 3 of their single members are not celibate. And the church says nothing, nothing at all.
	ScotLF 1/22/00 2:55:15 PM Without talking about it will remain an in the closet issue. If I were still, young, single and a Christian rather than the heathen I was, I would want some answers. It is tough enough to keep on the straight and narrow as it is. In the end its not what we as a church or as men decide that God wants. Its what God wants. So the question really becomes how close are we to God? God will not leave us clueless on issues of concern to us as individuals. Unless God wants me to help those who face this dilema, He probably won't reveal the truth of it to me. He will reveal it to those who face it, if they are truly seeking Him and His guidance. If you feel that God has chosen you to be the messenger you may want to pray about it and understand that if God is calling you its not to condemn but to correct.
	DavidG3276 1/22/00 10:57:48 AM Why not talk more openly about sex? Everyone else is! As a parent, I would love to get some support from churches to help our kids and adult singles know how to deal with sex in a society which devalues it.
	gino peregrini 1/22/00 8:33:15 AM Yes. Sex is and has been the dark side of Christianity. Little wonder that the devil and his human minions are portrayed as sexually licentious. Little wonder that the body--among those who believe in physical resurrection!--is a stinky burden. And how repulsive is that phrase, "evangelical whore." "Whore" has a very specific meaning, and it does not refer to two people loving each other physically.
	More Messages: Previous 1 2