I’ll wear the one that wins this poll, based on results at 5:00pm Central.

Background info: Company is a Christian non-profit ministry about to turn 25 years old. All staff and most board members will be present. Some of the others will bring their respective spouse. I’m married, but spouse not attending. I’ll need to be on good behavior. I’m not drinking (due to medication.) Add a comment before 12 noon Central if you need more context info to better inform your vote.

[update] the bright green tie won - here’s a fuzzy pic –

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’m so grateful that Charles Lee is coordinating an unconference called The Idea Camp on February 27-28, 2009 in Irvine, California. SAVE THE DATES! Here’s what The Idea Camp is about:

The Idea Camp is a free hybrid conference for idea-makers to share, network, and implement ideas. We are gathering some of the most innovative and creative leaders from around the country (this means YOU!) to share ideas, intentionally network, and move collaboratively into idea-making. Whether your passion is church leadership, non-profit work, social entrepreneurialism, technology, media, creativity, culture making, church planting, spiritual formation, compassionate justice, etc., this is the conference for YOU!

The Facebook Group for Idea Camp is facebook.com/group.php?gid=41051955597 and using a Ning.com powered social networking engine, conference information is dynamically and collaboratively updated. See the list of people who will be presenting and/or facilitating conversations at The Idea Camp; it already includes: Brad Abare, Greg Atkinson, Eric Bryant, Mike Foster, Dave Gibbons, Jeff Shinabarger, Cynthia Ware, Robert Yang of Kindlejoy.com, me, and more! More will be added between now and then, and you could be part of it too!

New to the idea of unconferences? It’s where no one pays to get in, no one gets paid, the playing field is level, and everyone has skin in the game. Read more about it cf. what is an unconference, understanding the unconference.

Call out others you’d love to see there. I’m calling out Dan Kimball, Erwin McManus, James Choung, Ed Stetzer, Dallas Willard, John Bishop, Donald Miller. Come on down!

I am a third year graduate in Xi’an International Studies University (西安外国语大学） majoring in Modern Linguistics. And now I am working on my MA thesis, which is about the pragmatic transfer in Chinese EFL learners’ refusal speech act. Thus I need to collect the English from both the native English speakers and Chinese learners of English and then to make a comparison between the two groups. The questionnaire is taken from Beebe et al.(1990), which was a “Discourse Completion Test” and now I need to find some Americans, or at least English speakers (English as one’s mother tongue) to fill in those blanks provided. In the attachment there is the questionnaire, would you please have a look at it? And if possible,would you please ask your friends to do it for me at their convinience? I sincerely hope you can help me.

What I did to fill out this questionnaire is to copy/paste the web document into an email, and filled out my response. Send the completed questionnaire to discourse@djchuang.com

The questionnaire is anonymous, so your name will not be published in any famous annals of thesis archives. It took me 15 minutes to fill out; you could probably finish faster.

“How do you have intimate relationships?”

Sincere Inquiry was my response!

Not just general inquiries about the person, their background, family and careers.

Sincere inquiries that push the limits and boundaries of acquaintances. Questions that evoke emotions from one another. Questions that release shouts of passion from the deepest parts of one’s soul. Questions that take you to new territories in your relationship preventing you to return to the old worn out fields of superficially.

A sincerity that desires to know the created being in front of you and the purpose the Creator designed them. A sincerity where you lose yourself in them and you decrease with each sentence they share about themselves.

Intimate relationships begin not with available time but intentional sincere questions. We make time as we desire to do nothing more then inquire about the unique created being were engaged with.

My prayer is that you will have deeper intimate relationships this weekend as you spend time with family and friends this Thanksgiving.

Sabastian Huynh
conVerge Family Church
(Garden Grove, CA)
www.convergenow.net

I’m thankful for: a dear wife of 13 years, a healthy son Jeremiah now in middle school, a home in Aliso Viejo, a dream job, no commute, my parents who came to the USA in 1974 so we 3 sons could have freedom and opportunity, the diligence of my 2 brothers with family matters, a mom who reads my blog, a delicious smoothie made via blendtec, this iPhone 3g even without cut/paste, each and every follower following my twitter, extra hours of sleep, in-laws who pray a lot, friends near and far, Jesus Christ for loving me and putting up with my foibles, God for opening my eyes to His beauty and grace, friends on FaceBook, more self-awareness into my 40s, Mark Batterson being quite the history buff and reviews the real reason we even have Thanksgiving, AAdvantage gold status for traveling over 25,000 miles this year and now i get to cut in line, a steak almost every time I go to Texas, playing chess with my son, santoku knife, love for cooking, free movies on hulu.com, digital photography via my nikon d50, internet, Greg Atkinson’s thankful list of social networking web apps, real hugs– not the side-by-side imitation, butter, sourdough, online banking, non-chocolate desserts, random ideas, forgiveness for my many errors and missteps, peanuts in shells, talents on loan from God, being a part of American history with our new president elect, conversations over coffee or cigars, 2 ginormous outdoor grills in our community front lawn, Italian food especially at buca di beppo, open mindedness, my first 10k at mud run, people who believe in me when I don’t, xterra 4wd for off-roading, spontaneous excursions like visiting Googleplex en route to san fran weekend, freedom of religion, difference of opinions, hot tubbing, ted.com, dreams, the color orange, possibilities, the soothing words in the Bible, great neighbors, ambiguity, a next generation that’s looking to change the world, no broken bones, blogging, a God who hears and answers prayer, cross country move combined with family vacation, massage times, mental breakthrus, baseball game at Yankee stadium’s last season with hosive, extreme punctuality, free upgrade on rental cars, a warm shower, lying on my tummy for a nap at the beach, L2 Foundation website redesign, sweet potatoes, cotton towels, open source software, friends that i can drop in on unannounced, text messages finally catching on and now more mainstream, things that’d be too much information to say, father and son Saturdays, macbook pro’s instant power on from sleep mode, Henry’s fresh fruits, no food allergies, subversiveness, Nicolas Cage, adaptability, super spicy Sichuan / Szechuan cuisine, stand up comedy, reimbursements, getting a phone call instead of making a phone call, free sticky notes, hotel bath robes, skype video chat, undramatic holiday family get togethers, thai cuisine, sticky rice stuffing, new york city, unrecycled information, fantasy life, stream live stream video, flex hours, colorful sunset, geek is chic, real things not fake things, cigar buddies, sleeping with windows open, streaming radio over 3g network while on the interstate, whiteboards, magnets, staying home on black friday, social butterflies, reality tv, wysiwyg, whipped cream, homeland security, costco within a mile of home, healthy curiosity, close up magic card tricks, a hard day’s work, reading a new magazine issue, browsing photos with interestingness, teamwork, spring cleaning, bundling up by the fireplace, kite flying by the Golden Gate bridge, fresh mowed lawn, a smile and wink, volunteering, noise isolating ear bud headphones, extra leg room, walking around a street fair, running into old friends at the airport, hot apple cider, lightly starched dress shirt, justice served, rites of marriage, sandals, drinkable tap water, Seinfeld, inside jokes, new socks, clever double entendres, feeling good, customer service, winning eBay bid on a deal, celebrating freedom, shooting the moon, easter eggs, power lunches, deja vu, sound of laughter, cuts that heal

My childhood dream was to be a stand-up comedian. But I didn’t quite have what it took and didn’t have the motivation to get what it takes. For years I looked for what I should be doing with my life, trying to find a role model for a career that fit me. That’s been elusive for me. I couldn’t find a job or career that really fit me.

Now in my 40s (having turned 42 in July), I’m feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t fit. I’m unconventional; unpredictable. Not a good corporate guy. I look at the world differently than most people. I’m not the kind of guy that colors within the lines, nor thinking outside the box. I’d say, “What box?”

I’m not a focused goal-oriented guy. I have racing thoughts, random and wild ideas. I’m a hacker, great at short-term projects where I can find a creative solution. I’m a networker, great at connecting people to people and people to resources.

Question #1: “Who are you?” Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” I’m (beginning to) embracing my DNA. I’m learning to be the way God has created me to be. God created you with unique gifts and talents. The more you’re true to yourself, the more God’s workmanship do its good work. You don’t have to force it. Just let it flow. Embrace your DNA. God’s called your church to be a light in your community. You don’t need to copy someone else. Be who God has called you to be.

Question #2: “What do you see?” Jeremiah 1:11, “The word of the Lord came to me: ‘What do you see…’ ”

As we’re in this Leadership Community together for the next 2 years, let’s see God at work in each other, and call that out. Let’s encourage each other, let’s celebrate together.

As you look around your community, what do you see? We see what we’re looking for. Ask God to show you what you need to see, and what you need to do.

This is a picture of the notes I took up with me. And, look at these 5 senior pastors — they’re all so tall! I’m 5′ 8″. You know any shorter senior pastors?

I couldn’t tell how old Dave was, and wondering if you could. So, here’s our pictures. Who do you think is older?

Now, this is not a competition, it is only an exhibition — please, no wagering.

When I searched amazon.com, I found 199 titles with the phrase, “emotional intelligence” in it. That’s a lot of books on one topic! There’s even a Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations.

Emotional intelligence is not identical to emotional maturity. It seems to me that “emotional maturity” is a broader general category for someone’s emotional life. Whereas “emotional intelligence” is the whole science of quantifyingly studying and understanding human emotions, both individually and relationally.[*] It’s probably right to say that if one’s EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) is high, that person is more emotionally mature.

Let’s use this working definition: “Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand and manage emotions.”

What does that look like? Daniel Goldman describes Five Components of Emotional Intelligence, according to [ht: Sandeep Gautam] ::

• Self-awareness. The ability to recognize and understand personal moods and emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.
• Self-regulation. The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods, and the propensity to suspend judgment and to think before acting.
• Motivation. A passion to work for reasons that go beyond money and status, which are external rewards. A propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence.
• Empathy. The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people. A skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions.
• Social skills. Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks, and an ability to find common ground and build rapport.

Found this Emotional Intelligence Test (35 ?s) and Emotional IQ Test - Abridged (10 ?s) online. Even before seeing these results, I’ve known that I’m a person still in process of growing in emotional intelligence.

Top Ten Suggestions for developing Your Emotional Intelligence (aka, 10 Habits of High EQ people) from eqi.org:

1. Become emotionally literate. Label your feelings, rather than labeling people or situations.
2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings.
3. Take more responsibility for your feelings.
4. Use your feelings to help make decisions.
5. Use feelings to set and achieve goals.
6. Feel energized, not angry.
7. Validate other people’s feelings.
8. Use feelings to help show respect for others.
9. Don’t advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture to others.
10. Avoid people who invalidate you.

Individuals with a higher EQ (usually) get more success, more happiness, and more compassion in life. Everyone wants that, right? Let’s hear Daniel Goleman talk about why we aren’t more compassionate more of the time.

Aside: EQI.org is a website by Steve Hein, who authored a very practical e-book, “EQ for Everybody,” and posted it online for free. He says, “Emotional intelligence is the innate potential to feel, use, communicate, recognize, remember, describe, identify, learn from, manage, understand and explain emotions.” Hein claims to have compiled the world’s largest list of feeling words, with over 3,000 words. Feeling words beginning with A thru S are online.

[*] Daniel Goldman popularized this fascinating phrase via his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, and he uses the phrase “to synthesize a broad range of scientific findings, drawing together what had been separate strands of research – reviewing not only their theory but a wide variety of other exciting scientific developments, such as the first fruits of the nascent field of affective neuroscience, which explores how emotions are regulated in the brain.” (huh?) The Wikipedia entry describes how the definition is constantly changing, so it’s a lot to get your hands around.

With permission, here is special access for you to test drive the new version of LifeChurch.tv’s internet campus! (I’ll probably be in a plane en route to DFW, so I may not be online there, though I’d love to be.)

So, in less than 24 hours, tomorrow Sun 11/16 at 1:00pm Central (2:00pm Eastern / 11:00am Pacific) go to http://new.icampus.lifechurch.tv and test out the new version of LifeChurch.tv’s Internet campus.

This is a test run, so you won’t get the entire notorious LifeChurch.tv online experience. And, Brandon Donaldson won’t be on the test drive since he’s hosting the regularly scheduled experience on the current version of their Internet Campus. But I think Tony Steward might be there, and that’s worth the price of admission.

You will be the first group of people outside of LifeChurch.tv to actually interact and use the new tool, and your feedback will be very important. They want your raw and candid comments, and to test how it handles the load of a larger group. Please send all feedback to http://getsatisfaction.com/lifechurchtv .

By the way, if you want, you can read the entire invitation email.

Since leadership development has become a big part of my work life via L² Foundation and Leadership Network, I’ve found basically 5 ways (programs, methods) to train and develop leaders:

• cohorts - a group of leaders get together regularly over time and provide peer-to-peer feedback to spur on one another’s leadership development
• conferences - event that brings a larger number of people together for more of an inspirational experience
• courses - teaching content about leadership in some kind of an educational and cognitive manner, class size could be small or large, and volumes of knowledge gained
• coaching - a personal coach gives coaching feedback to the leader
• residency - the mentor and apprentice(s) work and/or live in the same place, blending both content and practice, both coaching and and intangible character formation

All of these ways to do leadership development. What’s missing? Are there any other ways? You can add or change the detailed chart - it’s setup like a wiki so anyone can edit.

Aside: I just started reading a preview copy of a forthcoming book, Making Room for Leadership: Power, Space, and Influence, by Mark Kate Morse. Unlike many (most?) other leadership books filled with pithy sayings and illustrative stories, the author calls out the rarely-addressed issues of power and space, exploring the dynamics of body language and inter-personal relationships. These have to be addressed! This looks like a very valuable book I’ll read through in its entirety.

And then, there are some individuals that are naturally gifted leaders, who can still benefit from training programs, but they’ve already had a head-start out of the womb, and unless they mess up ethically or morally, those are the “leader of leaders”.

The African-American community has Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, who do Asian Americans have? (Granted, Sharpton and/or Jackson do not represent everyone in the African-American community, but they are vocal representatives, even if self-appointed.)

So, who should I suggest as spokespersons or representatives of the Asian American community? Someone who could speak representatively for the 15 million Asian Americans?

I used 1 of my lifelines, and polled my followers at Twitter and friends at Facebook (which mirrors from my Twitter feed). Here’s the list of responses I got:

• Ronald Takaki, retired professor of Ethnic Studies at UC Berkeley and author of Strangers from a Different Shore: A History of Asian Americans
• Frank H. Wu, recently Dean of Law School and author of Yellow: Race in America Beyond Black and White
• Helen Zia, journalist, activist, and author of Asian American Dreams: The Emergence of an American People
• Vijay Prashad, Professor of International Studies at Trinity College
• Van Tran, Orange County member of California State Assembly
• John Liu, Councilman in New York City and co-founder of Asian Political Leadership Fund
• Hyepin Im, President and CEO of Korean Churches for Community Development
• Eugene Cho, Pastor of Quest Church, Seattle
• Ken Fong, Pastor of Evergreen Baptist Church of Los Angeles
• Dave Gibbons, Pastor of NewSong Church in Irvine
• Steve Wong, Pastor of Grace Community Covenant Church
• Tom Lin, Regional Director for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship
• Tony Sheng, mobilizer of student missions
• Francis Chan, Pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley
• Jaeson Ma, President of Campus Church Networks

Because of my connections with Christian ministries, many responded with Asian American Christian leaders. My name was mentioned too, but I’m playing that bashful Asian race card, and left my name off the above list.

I’m not sure any one person could represent the whole 15 million, with over 30 different ethnicities and languages under the “Asian American” label; it’d take at least 30. The 3 who are most knowledgeable about the whole are probably Ronald Takaki, Frank Wu, and Helen Zia, listed above.

There are a number of Asian Americans who’ve been in government roles, elected or appointed, like Bobby Jindal, Gary Locke, Elaine Chao, David Kuo. Some would say that a political or government leader is more of a community leader than a leader in the realms of business, sports, arts, medicine, or media. There are plenty of Asian American leaders, just don’t recall any that speak out on mainstream media.

But, I can’t think of any one Asian American leader that’s a household name among even 50% of the Asian American population.

There are 3 leading web-based print-on-demand publishers with $0 setup cost: Lulu.com, CreateSpace.com, and CafePress. (others probably exist, but I’ve found more buzz about these 3)

I haven’t used all 3 to compare them in detail. Here’s what I found that does some helpful comparisons and gives good tips:

• I described my self-publishing experience using Lulu.com at my first time: self-publishing via print-on-demand, mentioning why I chose Lulu over CafePress
• Jeff Burton has this nice comparison chart for CreateSpace vs. Lulu.
• Gregory Solis posted these videos for Porting a Lulu book cover to Createspace and Some hints on moving your Lulu.com text to CreateSpace.
• Mike Reeves-McMillan (in New Zealand) compared these 3 print-on-demand suppliers: Lulu, CreateSpace, Zenith — read/download the PDF. The website for Zenith Publishing in New Zealand is zenithpublishing.co.nz
• This 2005 article, How to Choose a Print on Demand Publisher, suggests that “you need to consider seven crucial factors: set-up costs, cover price, royalty payments, control, distribution, author’s discounts, and the publisher’s reputation.”
• Look at this web page for a big list of print-on-demand printers and publishers. Setup fee may be acceptable if the terms fit you better.
• A link to CafePress Self Publishing is not easy to find from the home page, so here it is. “Create and sell your own books using true print-on-demand technology” with “No setup fees or minimum quantities.”
• Self Publishing blog by Foner Books - the most verbose blog I’ve found on this topic

And, it’s not so much about the setup cost. It’s about sharing your ideas and stories. I think the greatest value with print-on-demand is to get your content published as a book without concerns over the size of the audience. You can make your book available to the masses, the public; publishers and audience sizes won’t get in the way.

Before you dive in and self-publish, be sure you read the fine print about the terms and policies. If your book has any potential in being published by a traditional press, make sure self-publishing does not jeopardize your opportunity with a traditional publisher. Invite honest feedback from a handful of people and have them read your manuscript before you go print-on-demand. For example, THE SHACK has 4 million copies in print and was first self-published via their own company, Windblown Media. (cf. USA Today, Christianity Today)

Think you got a book in you? Maybe someone you know? If you’ve self-published, share your experience in the comments.

I hope both Prodigal God and Losing God will join other popular books about God, like Keller’s Reason for God, Knowing God by J. I. Packer, Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby, Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist by John Piper, Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer, Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship With God by Dallas Willard, Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey, The Holiness of God by R. C. Sproul, Finding God by Larry Crabb …

There are other books about God, too. These are the top 7 on amazon.com sorted by relevance, using a keyword search of “God” with quotes; different results when unquoted):

1. The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller
2. The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
3. Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
4. What Hath God Wrought: The Transformation of America, 1815-1848 by Daniel Walker Howe
5. God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything by Christopher Hitchens
6. Society without God: What the Least Religious Nations Can Tell Us About Contentment by Phil Zuckerman
7. Conversations with God : An Uncommon Dialogue (Book 1) by Neale Donald Walsch

Top 5 books about God on amazon.com sorted by Bestselling:

1. The Shack by William P. Young
2. Breaking Dawn (The Twilight Saga, Book 4) by Stephenie Meyer
3. Eclipse (The Twilight Saga, Book 3) by Stephenie Meyer
4. The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick
5. The Story of Edgar Sawtelle: A Novel (Oprah Book Club #62) by David Wroblewski

I’m surprised to see the top relevant books are non-fiction, while bestselling ones are fiction. I loved The Shack, but don’t see me buying and/or reading much fiction in my life.

A couple of things, among many, to mention:

Ken Fong’s speaking at a conversation about Progressive Christian Culture and Innovation at USC tomorrow 10/30 night. Just found out; can’t make it, b/c I’m en route to DFW via PHX. There’s gonna be free food from Mama’s Hot Tamales Café.

Had great phone conversation with Pete Sung, and affirming to hear of his passion for God’s Kingdom and next gen Asian Americans. Too bad he zapped his goatee.

And, if you’re curious about my excursion last week, I posted a handful of my best photos over at flickr: